Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
