Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
