I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Randomize