one two three fourrrrnication!
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
