how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Semen is not good for contacts.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
tell me about the eggs
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
