it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
