just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
In America we eat man semen.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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