Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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