Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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