I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
