tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO