am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine