I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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