Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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