Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize