if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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