i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
