I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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