Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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