i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
