i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
