The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
it was like his penis was on wheels.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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