So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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