I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
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why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
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We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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