Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
