i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
