How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
