those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
