Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I could fuck to npr.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize