she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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