he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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