A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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