This house was built for laser tag.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize