HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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