I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
