Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
