i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
