fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
