Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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