I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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