their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
