I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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