Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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