i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
