hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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