I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
