I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
