The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Drake has all the answers
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
