hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
