walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
