I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize