so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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