Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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