do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
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