I am spending my child support on dildos
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
