just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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