I skipped work to stalk him.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
