We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
