my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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