Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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